Wasting time and the exam blues…

by EJ

I don’t know why I do it to myself. I’ve been trying really hard to get through the material but I just can’t make heads or tails of damn near 90% of it, damn it. I’m currently attempting the beginnings of a Grad Dip in Finance and Investment, by distance education no less. Wow. What a crock of shite. No wonder Lachlan Murdoch quit the old man’s company. Mind you, he can do whatever he wants. He’s a lot richer than me. Hell, I’m in the dumps. The doldrums. Moping around, straining under the yolk of incuriosity. Yoke, sorry. Why do I put myself in these ridiculous frames of mind involving goals setting and achievements and grandiose pictures of me getting anywhere in life. Look at me. What the hell can a head like this accomplish? It’s grotesque and frightening. A student once told me I have an ‘uncute face’. It was a guy so I wasn’t really phased at the time, but I mean really. It’s like something out of the ‘police wrap’ section of a newspaper.

But plough on I must and plough on I will. Unless I decide to quit. In that case there won’t be so much plowing as sitting around hating myself. But it’s not like I won’t have seen it coming. All I’ll need to do is check my blog and read this post. Oh God. God, If you can hear me, switch of this computer, put me to bed and wake me up tomorrow confident, refreshed and newly, mysteriously endowed with the intellect of 10 Warren Buffets. It’s the prayer of a servile, humble man. Who’s asking, you say? That’s simple. A meek, biddable, lowly and altogether manageable man who has never asked anything of you before. Neigh, who never even believed in you before. That was a joke I swear. I’ve listened to a lot of Martin Luther King Jnr speeches. I had them on an album and, for some odd reason, on the other side were speeches by Adolph Hitler. As you can imagine, it wasn’t difficult to tell who-was-who. They spoke different languages for a start. But I digress. Please let me pass these exams. I’m tired and I don’t want to study anymore. C’mon. Please? Awesome. Thanks. Amen.